Today is my daughter’s fourth birthday.
My daughter is 4.
My first born baby just turned 4.
No matter what way or how many times I say it, I still can’t believe it. I remember that day so vividly. Momma’s, as I’m sure some of you can relate, I labored for 50+ grueling hours on this day four years ago. I was so miserable, in so much pain, and in an instant... none of it mattered. My baby was here.
*Spoiler alert: I’m a pretty emotional person. I’m loud, my emotions are usually pretty recognizable because I wear them right on my sleeve, and I can cry at the drop of a hat, over just about anything. You can imagine, then, that the day that I had my daughter, I was a wreck. I remember holding her the evening that she was born, just bawling. I couldn’t believe that God thought that I was worthy enough to call this sweet baby mine.
For those of you that don’t know me personally, I’m sure you haven’t heard the story of my daughter being born on what was supposed to be my husband and my wedding day. Yep, our ‘Save The Date’ has my daughter’s birthday on them. So you can imagine that she wasn’t exactly planned. I knew, undoubtably, that July 25, 2015 was going to be a special day, but I truly didn’t know just how memorable and perfect it was actually going to be.
As a matter of fact, my “fiancé” (now husband) and I weren’t even sure, at the time, that we wanted children. We both loved kids, no doubt, but we also were able to get a small taste of how much of a commitment they were as we watched others around us have and parent their children. We knew how much we loved spending time with each other, just the 2 of us, and weren’t sure if we wanted that sort of distraction.
Here we were just about 9 months before our wedding, we were headed to our dinner/menu tasting. A few days later, I told Jason that I had a confession. I told him that I was so sorry, but we needed to find a new venue for our wedding. He was so confused and uncertain as to why. He thought for sure we were in the midst of planning the wedding that every bride dreams of. I told him that it had been days since our menu tasting and I was still feeling nauseated from the food we had eaten. Jason pretty quickly was able to read between the lines (no pun intended) and convinced me to take a home pregnancy test that, very quickly, came back positive.
It was incredible (incredibly ignorant) that I went to the doctor the next day actually expecting them to tell me that it was a false positive. Instead, the nurse asked me about my wedding plans and replied with “Oh, you may be showing a little by then” as a response to her asking me the date of our wedding.
It was a couple weeks later that we found out that this sweet little miracle was due on our exact wedding day. That was the first time that I realized that God had his hands in all of this; this was the plan that he had for me, and everything was going to be ok.
It wasn't until after I had my daughter that I found out that only 3% of babies are naturally born on their due date, and as if the story couldn’t get any better, that’s when my sweet 8 lb, 21 inch baby girl came into this world, and completely changed mine.
It was the very moment that the medical staff placed her into my arms, that everything felt so right. It felt so perfect. Looking back on the life lessons that Braylee has taught me, the mom she molded me into, and the clarity she has provided me with, it is no doubt that this is what God had envisioned for me.
Today’s post has 2 purposes for me. First, to be able to reflect on the love that I have for Braylee and the love that I have of being a mom. It is not always easy. It’s not always fun, but being a mom has taught me the most valuable lessons about who I am and who I strive, daily, to be. Parenthood is a marathon, which I hear are exhausting (I, personally, don’t, and will probably never be able to validate that statement). I have to remind myself, continuously, to take things 1 day at a time and when this day stinks, there’s always tomorrow.
The second purpose of this post today is to share with you and encourage you to trust in God’s plan for you. Your life may not be exactly what you had in mind for yourself, embrace it anyway. Your journey may not being taking you exactly where you thought it should, travel it anyway. You may not be surrounded by the people that you thought you would be surrounded with, love them anyway. And, if you’re ever really feeling like it’s wrong, and this can’t be the path that He has laid out for you, I encourage you to pray about it, and trust Him anyway. Pray for Him to show you. And friends, I ask that you do so knowing, truly believing, that it’s all in His hands. He knows you. He loves you. He will provide you with exactly what you need, just as he provided me with my sweet little girl 4 years ago, today.
Until next time...
Your,
(Humbled) Christian Momma
