As I was participating in worship at church this last weekend, I couldn't help but hear a resounding message, both literally and spiritually: "God is good". Not only were those, literally, some of the words that we were singing, but as I was singing them I kept thinking, "Gosh, he is good. My family and I have been rewarded with so many blessings."
If you've been following my past posts, you know that my husband and I had been praying fervently for the opportunity to add another sweet baby to our family. We were cast into a position to trust God, His timing, and His plans for our family. I am almost giddy, still, as a type these words and share the news that we're expecting ! As we confirmed our pregnancy, started to attend doctor appointments, and most recently have watched my waistline grow (putting that lightly...), I couldn't help but feel so blessed to know that our prayers have been answered. God is good ! As I continue to reflect on our circumstances, though, I feel prompted to remember that He had been answering my prayers all along. He is present and so, so good. I was reminded that an answered prayer doesn't mean it necessarily results in my desired outcome. Instead, He may have been answering them the entire time with answers like, "just wait", or "not yet", or even "be patient and allow me to walk with you while I prepare you for this next season." I felt the last mentioned "answer" was what I was hearing the most. Looking back, there was so much blessing in the waiting; I learned so much. The passionately intense, yet fruitful conversations between my husband and I were so constructive and, in hindsight, almost imperative to allow us to arrive where we are today. It's almost embarrassing to admit, but for the first time in my life, I had to relinquish all control and give it solely to God. No matter how bad I wanted this, it's not like I could "pull up my bootstraps and try harder". I'm pretty sure I know what it takes to conceive a child, and though I knew, still, it just wasn't happenin'. I know it's easy for us to celebrate answered prayers or the fact that "God is good" when things go our way, but what about when things don't go our way ? When things seem difficult or unfair ?
I had been reflecting on this truth throughout the past 18 months and received a great reminder at church this weekend that not only does God know what He's doing, but He is good, despite our individual circumstances. Our circumstances don't define His goodness. He is good all the time. It's impossible for us to see things from God's perspective, to totally understand the why, but this is when faith and trust in Him are so important. And what He is capable of in the waiting and during the preparation is so good. He is so good.
In case you're thinking it, let me just call it out myself and say that this is an easy perspective for me to "happen upon" or recognize now that I'm seemingly on the other side of the waiting. Ultimately, I've gotten what I had been asking for. This is true. And I am so grateful. However, as our family received the news that we were expecting this incredible blessing, we were also subjected to other hard truths that we're still wrestling with to this day. Circumstances that have been hard to swallow. Circumstances that require faith and trust. This requires us to be intentional with our thoughts and know that God is still good. Not because our life is perfect and all rainbows and butterflies, but just simply because He is. History has proven it over and over again. So, once again, I'm going to pray boldly and fervently for what I want, what I think is best, and then I'm going to continue to acknowledge that not only are my prayers heard, but they're being answered by a good God. I'm looking forward to what God has in store for me and what I'm being prepared for as we continue to not only celebrate our blessings (especially the one growing in my tummy), but also while we continue to trudge through the difficulties.
Mommas, I hope that this finds you in a time of celebration, but in case it doesn't, try to look for the blessing and the lesson in what you're going through. And always know that whatever you're walking through, you certainly aren't walking through it alone. Your God is near and He is so good.
Until next time...
Your,
(Hope-filled) Christian Momma